


Proud

by worstsideoftheport



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Ending, Feels, Human Castiel, M/M, Writer Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-28 05:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2720438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstsideoftheport/pseuds/worstsideoftheport
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sam fell into the Cage with Michael and Lucifer, he didn't come back after a year. In fact, he never did come back to Dean's sorrow, leaving Castiel to try picking up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Proud

**Author's Note:**

> This was written on a whim and it's not exactly in a complete story form. Don't get me wrong, it is complete and everything, but it's written a little bit different. I think it's still good...though of course I would say that since it's my story, but I hope whoever reads it likes it.

Sam never came back when he went into Lucifer's cage. Dean went to be with Lisa and Ben but the pain of losing him never went away. God let Cas come back to life as a human with Bobby as reward for helping Sam and Dean. When Dean's yearlong relationship with her soured, he moved back to Kansas with Cas. Dean was always drinking and whoring around at night. Cas had to contend with worrying about him while trying to learn how to be human without much help from the man who had always told him that he would be there for him.  
One night Dean comes home drunk again. Cas went to bed hours ago but left his laptop on, forgetting to turn it off like he usually did. Dean sits down in the chair to watch late night porn like he always does. When he plops down onto the semi-comfortable chair he sees Cas's Word page open and blank. Cas likes to write but tonight he had writer's block, and on this particular night he had gone up to bed without turning it off in a small lapse of judgement. That doesn't matter. Something tugs at Dean even in his inebriated state and he begins typing. His big drunken fingers tap experimentally on the small keys until he catches the hang of it.  
A story begins to pour out soon after this, a story about a brotherless man living out his life post-Apocalyptic with a loving girlfriend and step-son. In this story, she doesn't fall out of love with the broken man and he doesn't beat her and the kid, but the brother comes back. He comes back and steals the family man away to fight monsters and save lives. They are happy even in their miserable cycle of motel food, drama, and insufferable enemies. They're brothers again with problems, like his brother lacking his soul and him struggling to part with his new family. Hours later his drunken sobs awaken Cas. The former angel comes down to see a broken man typing out how he wished his life had continued. He doesn't say anything to Dean, but there are tears in his eyes when he places a comforting hand on his shoulder and reads what he has so far, hearing the faint tune of "Beautiful Loser" playing on the radio.  
"Exile on Main St." is what Dean calls it, and Cas is almost crying as he deciphers its meaning. His tears make Dean look up at him but nothing is said. They break each other's hearts when they cry like this and soon they're holding each other as sorrow and pain wash over them. He feels like his father when he drinks like this, the grouchy old hunter who hates himself for letting the only woman he'd ever loved die. It kills Dean that he couldn't save Sam, that he hurt Lisa and Ben so much, and that he'd drove everyone away save for Cas. Cas would never leave him, even if he tried to blame him for everything wrong in his life. He took Dean's accusations with kindness and love.  
As he hugs Cas he traces a finger over a scar on his shoulder where Dean had shoved him into a bookshelf two months ago. On his cheek is a fresh bruise where Dean had hit him for trying to keep Dean from leaving tonight. There's a scar on his neck where Dean had woken up from a nightmare thinking Cas was a demon and held his knife to him. Even after he nicked him Cas didn't say anything. He tucked a crying Dean back into bed and kissed his forehead, his tough lips lingering on his skin. Dean can still remember seeing the blood slipping like black rubies in the darkness. It makes him sob harder and apologize over and over again.  
Cas understands. He holds Dean in his arms with acceptance and love.  
Neither one of them knows the exact moment when their lips meet, but when they do they're the happiest men in the world. The bed never factors in. Cas is shoved onto the couch and stripped of his clothes, somehow never breaking lips with his lover. Only saliva and two fingers serve as the preparation. When Dean enters Cas it's the sweetest sensation he could ever ask for, only second to Cas's needful moans. Their bodies fit perfectly together like long lost puzzle pieces. With every thrust and kiss Dean forgets about all the pain he's endured this past year and a half and the loss of his beloved brother. His lust for Castiel sobers him and as he says "I love you," it's the truest thing he's said in years. To Cas nothing could be greater, and he tells him he loves him too. They come together in a wash of bonding lust. Dean cleans up Cas with his tongue and shirt until the angel's seed is cleaned from his chest and Dean's from inside of him. He takes such care to clean him only to take him twice more and is sure to lick his stomach clean each time, especially when Cas seems to love it so. Once they're sated they sleep in each other's arms on the couch.  
Cas wakes the next morning sore and happy to see Dean with a cup of coffee at Cas's computer writing again. Today the title is "Two and A Half Men." He kisses Dean's cheek and asks what this is supposed to be.  
"Our story," Dean says softly, taking Cas's soft hand into his and kissing each finger, "how it was supposed to be."  
In this story Dean and Cas aren't together, instead something always keeps pushing them apart like death and betrayal, but as the chapters keep piling up Cas doesn't mind. He believes the stories for how they are when Dean writes them and to be honest he's glad that this writing, though surprising, has so positively changed him.  
As he writes the latest chapter several years later he's crying late into the night. This time he's not drunk, but the tears drunkenly fall as the story sits in front of him just shy of being finished. Cas comes to his aid, hugging and kissing him. "I wish Sam were here with us," the former hunter sobs and looks at only person he loves. "Would he be proud of us?"  
"I know he would be." Cas whispers.  
"I-I'm proud of us." Dean mutters and kisses his lover's lips.  
"Come to bed." He tells Dean and receives a nod.  
"You go on up. I need to finish this." Dean coos and sits down. He wipes his tears as he stares at Cas's laptop screen and at the nearly finished story. He needs a last word for himself, something he's never really done before. It's hard. He writes something witty, and then something sad and meaningful. Then he almost deletes the entire chapter. But he doesn't. It feels right. "Something that'll make Sam proud...." Dean mutters to himself.  
And then he knows. He knows what he would say to Sam if he were actually dying in his arms, something to convey everything that had happened to them from the time Sam was six months old to when Dean had seen him for the last time falling into Lucifer's cage.  
"I'm proud of us." He echoes softly.  
~The End~


End file.
